Sexing them is easy. The female is the one laying eggs. (Sorry, I had to...)
Personally, I like to give newly breeding Cichlids several chances without my interference. They'll often figure it out on their own, making my job easier.
As she gets the hang of things, she'll learn to keep the eggs in a tighter clutch. That makes it easier for the male to spread his love across the whole group. Unfertilized eggs will remain white, fertilized eggs will turn reddish brown. As mentioned, they'll eat infertile eggs as they will mold and the mold can harm the fertilized eggs near them.
What decor is in the tank? If they have high water flow in their area that may make it harder to keep the eggs together as well as to fertilize them.