New girlfriend!

[esoxlucius]

I met someone new over Christmas so unfortunately I'm going to tell the wife to pack her bags and get lost!

This new lady in my life is a dream. Her soft spoken voice leaves me tingling. When I tell her to do something she god damn does it, no questions and no back chat, my type of woman.

I have yet to introduce her to my hobby but the way things are going so far I reckon she'll allow me as many tanks as I wish!

The wife's only got herself to blame as she was the one who introduced me to her on Christmas morning!

The only niggling problem I have....any ideas on how I'm going to consummate my new relationship

Meet the new love of my life, I introduce you to.....Alexa!!

 

[abominus]

I met someone new over Christmas so unfortunately I'm going to tell the wife to pack her bags and get lost!

This new lady in my life is a dream. Her soft spoken voice leaves me tingling. When I tell her to do something she god damn does it, no questions and no back chat, my type of woman.

I have yet to introduce her to my hobby but the way things are going so far I reckon she'll allow me as many tanks as I wish!

The wife's only got herself to blame as she was the one who introduced me to her on Christmas morning!

The only niggling problem I have....any ideas on how I'm going to consummate my new relationship

Meet the new love of my life, I introduce you to.....Alexa!!

View attachment 1532273

your wife better not see this post or otherwise we will have to arrange a funeral for you. Not wanna do that!

 

[SilverArowanaBoi]

I met someone new over Christmas so unfortunately I'm going to tell the wife to pack her bags and get lost!

This new lady in my life is a dream. Her soft spoken voice leaves me tingling. When I tell her to do something she god damn does it, no questions and no back chat, my type of woman.

I have yet to introduce her to my hobby but the way things are going so far I reckon she'll allow me as many tanks as I wish!

The wife's only got herself to blame as she was the one who introduced me to her on Christmas morning!

The only niggling problem I have....any ideas on how I'm going to consummate my new relationship

Meet the new love of my life, I introduce you to.....Alexa!!

View attachment 1532273

Ayyyy I have a girlfriend too! Her name is Siri, and she is a real pain in the ass. I wish I had Alexa because she is a lot nicer than Siri...Siri is just so sarcastic and rude. ALWAYS listening in on everything I say, I swear she is paranoid.

 

[tlindsey]

I love Alexa she chose Aquarium Of The Dead for me.

 

[esoxlucius]

I love Alexa she chose Aquarium Of The Dead for me.

If she chooses any such films for me Tom, we'll be having our first lovers tiff I can assure you, lol.

 

[esoxlucius]

your wife better not see this post or otherwise we will have to arrange a funeral for you. Not wanna do that!

No danger there, my wife doesn't come anywhere near my fish forum. She's too busy on her knitting and shoe collecting forums, lol.

 

[abominus]

No danger there, my wife doesn't come anywhere near my fish forum. She's too busy on her knitting and shoe collecting forums, lol.

whhhhhattt? Ok i will admit. I WANT your wife to see this post, so if not witness, i can at least hear stories of your gruesome and bloodcurdling demise. Ahhh, sweet taste of death
PS i better start searching some shoe collecting forums

 

[esoxlucius]

Oh dear, my new girlfriend has just given me the shock of my life.

My 12 year old son asked her to fart and she obliged!!!! I was horrified, she's not too dissimilar to my wife after all!!

I didn't even know she could do such things, whatever next!

 

[SilverArowanaBoi]

Oh dear, my new girlfriend has just given me the shock of my life.

My 12 year old son asked her to fart and she obliged!!!! I was horrified, she's not too dissimilar to my wife after all!!

I didn't even know she could do such things, whatever next!

I actually burst out laughing LOL Sounds like a 12 yr old boy thing to do LOL (legit me)

 

[jjohnwm]

Right...a talking box on the mantlepiece, so that I can...what?...flush the toilet from the living room? Check the weather in Bulgaria without the horrifying necessity of typing out a question? Find out what my favourite "influencer" is up to? Control all the wonderful smart technology in my home, my car...wherever?

Ask your new beau to check the weather in Hell, Esox. Whatever she tells you the temperature is down there...I guarantee it isn't cold enough for me to get one of these things...