Until I was about 6 years of age I spoke only Ukrainian, because both my parents were from there originally and they spoke it at home, and at the Ukrainian Orthodox church they attended, and at the Ukrainian-owned food stores and other retailers in the largely Ukrainian neighbourhood. When I started school, I was...despite being born only a few blocks away...totally lost and unable to communicate. My kindergarten teacher apparently visited my parents at home (!) shortly afterwards and said...and I'm sure my dad was paraphrasing when he told me this..."What the hell is wrong with you people? You're in Canada! Speak English!!!"
My parents did what came naturally for them; they overreacted to a ridiculous degree. All Ukrainian ceased at home immediately and completely; I heard only English (and not the best English...) going forward. Today, I can still understand virtually anything said to me in Ukrainian...but can't really speak any of it! So that places my language count at zero.
The Powers That Be decreed that as a good little Canuck I would learn French at school, and thus I endured French class from about grade three right through to the end of High School, grade 13. I got by but never really loved it, never felt fluent. So...still at zero.
I took three years of Latin during High School; I found it quite interesting and it definitely helped with other languages, and it was three easy credits. I did very well in that class, but of course I never had much chance to use it afterwards so it mostly faded away. Still zero.
I took 5 years of German in High School, and I loved the logical nature of that language. After 5 years of it, I was far more comfortable and fluent in German than I was in French despite having taken that for 10 years. German had
rules and they were
strict, with very few exceptions; French seemed like one big exception...few rules but lots of silly suggestions...a total free-for-all. To this day, I can still understand and speak German well enough that I can sort of claim it, maybe as a half-point? Woohoo! I speak half a language!
And finally, of course...there's English. I've always considered myself fluent in English...except, today, English is evolving pretty dang quickly, faster than I can keep up with it. The problem is that anyone can apparently just make up words and grammar and everyone else is apparently expected to simply accept this without question. New nouns and verbs are constantly popping up, to describe things and actions that never existed before. Contractions and short forms and even-shorter forms, because it's just way too much work to speak or type or...heaven forbid...
write entire words and sentences. And pronouns! So many pronouns! And everybody now gets their
own pronouns, because the dusty old set we once used just aren't sufficient anymore. You need your very own set of pronouns today, to illustrate just how unique and special you are...just like everybody else...
Even before all this nonsense, back when I thought I knew plain old English...I would periodically meet someone like, for example, Esox...who, practically by definition, does indeed speak
English...and would realize that I didn't have a clue what he or she or it or they or ze or zir was actually saying. There's nothing quite like watching a movie or news clip showing people speaking English...and having to enable the sub-titles to understand what's going on!
So, if I'm being honest, I must admit that I don't really speak anything sufficiently well to claim I'm fluent in it.
Oh, dear...