Ain't small town life wonderful? The only thing better, IMHO, is living close to but
outside the town in question.
Oddly enough, I had to go into town yesterday as well, so I attempted to live up to my civic responsibility and keep my eyes open for the trustworthy individual who is the focus of this thread. I could have gone by bike, in fact the railroad allowance running along one side of my property runs right into the downtown core so I can more-or-less legally get there by almost any means; riding lawn mower, off-road motorcycle, snowmobile, quad, you name it. But I just went in my boring old truck.
I got my mail, bought some milk and bread, and then took a visual tour of town in case that miscreant was loitering on some street corner. I could see the entire burg from right there in the parking lot, standing next to my truck. He wasn't leaning against any light poles or street lights...there aren't any...and the town looked pretty quiet, as always. Nobody on the sidewalks...there aren't any of those either. There was a bit of excitement at the near end of one of the residential streets, where our second stop sign was recently installed; it consisted of a fat old housecat standing next to the new signpost and looking up at it in wonder.
I checked out the General-Store/Post-Office/Liquor-Store and saw no sign of him in there; said hi to the owner when she poked her head through the door leading to her home at the back of the store when she heard the bell by the door. He wasn't hanging around the single gas pump outside, either. The bar looked deserted, but I was afraid that perhaps our hero was hiding inside so I felt the need to cross the road, go inside and have a quick beer just to chat with the owner a bit. I actually showed him the picture of the guy and we had a laugh; he said he'd keep his eyes open. Both residential streets looked completely devoid of people...it's easy to see right to the end of each one...but I didn't go down them because there are a couple of dogs in town that would likely come out to greet me and have a pat, and then I would have some explaining to do when Duke smelled them on my clothes back home (he's jealous). So I limited my perusal to the business section of town. The small-engine-repair shop was, as always, closed. The old church retained its usual ghost-town look.
I would have inspected...as
Ulu
did...the elementary school, the middle school, the high school, the scroungiest old market in town, a hardware store, the tire store, the DMV, the Savemart, and the Walmart...but none of those things exist in my little town, so it saved me quite a bit of time. It appeared as though the entire population of roughly 80 residents were safe from the bargain-basement low-grade Darth Maul in the post by
RD.
Aside from the time spent on the beer visit and at my PO Box, the entire patrol of town was conducted while standing beside my truck and took about 12 seconds.
If he does show up here, he will likely have a hard time blending in, so I'm not too worried.
