The "I don't get it" Fishkeeping thread.
- Thread starter FINWIN
- Start date
Nah. I can go with the Kimchi soup bowl but not the whole pack. Too much! I usually split the season pack into 1/3 or 1/4 and add garlic salt instead. Just enough to give it bite but not be hot. I don't know how people can eat a whole season pack in the soup!
I remember when I joined here in 2019 I lurked for months prior. Some truly wild threads during the 2009-2015 years. Good luck trying to figure where some of those posters are now. People got nasty, snarky, argued back and forth. There were a lot of 'death match coliseum' tanks people posted about. Bragging about dead and injured fish, or 'teaching fish a lesson'. Nuthin' but a zoo of crazy. And yeah a string of 'most aggressive' lists. Stuff had me cracking up. Ask for advice you don't agree with and get nasty about it. LOL. I guess those people are posted up on YouTube now with 10 year old vids.
Here's the thing, so say you have
A 20 year old with 10 years of experience
A 60 year old with 5 months of experience
this is why making it about age goes in circles
You can't even tell by how people post either, some are very good with words. Unless they 'date' themselves somehow or say when they started.
And lastly, this is important: Beware DOCTOR GOOGLE AND BOTS!
Here's the thing, so say you have
A 20 year old with 10 years of experience
A 60 year old with 5 months of experience
this is why making it about age goes in circles
You can't even tell by how people post either, some are very good with words. Unless they 'date' themselves somehow or say when they started.
And lastly, this is important: Beware DOCTOR GOOGLE AND BOTS!
Don't forget those folks with years of experience...who manage to give the impression that they haven't learned a single dang thing throughout all that time and all those mistakes. 
Like the “no water change guru” on YouTubeDon't forget those folks with years of experience...who manage to give the impression that they haven't learned a single dang thing throughout all that time and all those mistakes.
I'd like to point out that this is all a text based conversation platform, and therefore without actual vocal cues, "tone" and "intent" are always going to be inferred by those reading. Just because a reader ASSUMES a post is coming at them with attitude - shirty, if you will - doesn't actually make it so. People can be quite soft.
A lot of people think of me as being "rough". And while I admit I do have very little patience at times, I also very much try to NOT type the first thing that comes out of my mouth and be a little more PC when commenting on forums/online (which is why I don't always post a lot, because sometimes saying something "nice" vs how I feel is difficult so it's better if I just walk away lol). But the reality of it is, I'm naturally a blunt, tell it how it is person. If you come on here saying you have an oscar in a 10 gallon tank and can't wait to see him grow up, my response is going to be a to the point "your tank is way too small for that species, either upgrade tomorrow or rehome the oscar". I am not going to sugar coat it as "Well I'm soooo excited that you're excited about your fun new fish! But I'm really very super sorry to have to let you know that I think you may have made a poor choice and it would probably maybe should be a good idea for you to get a larger tank for him, but only as soon as you really want to or are able to, I'm sure he'll be fine in the meantime!"
Because 1) I don't have the time in my life to beat around the bush on here and 2) I've learned over the many years I've been on these sites that you HAVE to be blunt with people more often than not. Otherwise, they just won't get it.
A lot of people think of me as being "rough". And while I admit I do have very little patience at times, I also very much try to NOT type the first thing that comes out of my mouth and be a little more PC when commenting on forums/online (which is why I don't always post a lot, because sometimes saying something "nice" vs how I feel is difficult so it's better if I just walk away lol). But the reality of it is, I'm naturally a blunt, tell it how it is person. If you come on here saying you have an oscar in a 10 gallon tank and can't wait to see him grow up, my response is going to be a to the point "your tank is way too small for that species, either upgrade tomorrow or rehome the oscar". I am not going to sugar coat it as "Well I'm soooo excited that you're excited about your fun new fish! But I'm really very super sorry to have to let you know that I think you may have made a poor choice and it would probably maybe should be a good idea for you to get a larger tank for him, but only as soon as you really want to or are able to, I'm sure he'll be fine in the meantime!"
Because 1) I don't have the time in my life to beat around the bush on here and 2) I've learned over the many years I've been on these sites that you HAVE to be blunt with people more often than not. Otherwise, they just won't get it.
I think that's what makes this forum, and many others like us, more interesting. We're all different. Some are extremely blunt, almost aggressive, and some try and sugar coat or even completely overlook the glaring elephant in the room.
And those on the receiving end can be either really thick skinned and let nothing phase them or cry like babies at the slightest hint of criticism.
Thankfully we have the full spectrum on here, lol.
And those on the receiving end can be either really thick skinned and let nothing phase them or cry like babies at the slightest hint of criticism.
Thankfully we have the full spectrum on here, lol.
You’re still not getting my point, esox. I mentioned both "new" and "young"; it doesn’t have to specifically refer to age. If you hover your cursor over a member's name or click on it once using your phone, you can see the joining date and the number of posts they’ve made—details that can’t be hidden. This gives a clear idea if the member is new or not.You do actually have a point
If you click on any members name you can sometimes see their age, which is great. You can then reply to their post knowing full well how old they are, and tread carefully if they're young. Would this work?
Unfortunately their age is only shown if that particular member has made their age "public" in their settings. Looking at members details in just this thread alone shows that I know the age of some, but not others. So how can you tell if a certain member is old or young if the information is given by some, but not others?
Also, there's nothing to say that a young member doesn't have more knowledge that an older member. Or that an older member may have joined the forum but only just come into the hobby and knows diddly squat.
We're not getting anywhere really are we, lol.
I suppose, and I've actually seen this a lot, that when a new member posts they sometimes say something along the lines of, "newbie here with lots of questions, go easy on me". That would be the ideal solution to prevent all us long in the tooth gnarly old veterans from putting our foot in it, lol.
As for being young, a member's writing style and post content often make it easy to guess if they’re young.
Anyway, this issue has been on my mind for quite some time, especially since I know a few members who are hesitant to post out of fear of being flamed. This means it’s not an uncommon problem here. I was just stating this fact in hopes that others might be more careful when responding.
Well I love sharing information and ideas if I can. Got no gripes anywhere. Have I been teed off at stuff here? Yeah, a couple times. A particular recent post comes to mind where I wasn't sure if the member was trying to be a wise ass, so I just stopped responding. Don't ask for help then act like you don't really want it or 'whatever' attitude. Like
SinisterKisses
says, text format doesn't show intent or 'tone' so yeah wordplay is everything. And I have enough sense to pick up on combative people who want attention by arguing or being passive aggressive. They can go play with somebody else. You want firecracker? I got firecracker.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah, something else I don't get. Anyone who painstakingly selects a group of compatible fish for a nice tank then completely scraps the idea, switches up, and starts all over with incompatible fish with a different setup because they saw a specific fish they like. That one loses me.
Nobody should fear posting here. Fresh ideas and comments are what makes the forum go.
SinisterKisses
says, text format doesn't show intent or 'tone' so yeah wordplay is everything. And I have enough sense to pick up on combative people who want attention by arguing or being passive aggressive. They can go play with somebody else. You want firecracker? I got firecracker.Now, where was I? Oh yeah, something else I don't get. Anyone who painstakingly selects a group of compatible fish for a nice tank then completely scraps the idea, switches up, and starts all over with incompatible fish with a different setup because they saw a specific fish they like. That one loses me.
Nobody should fear posting here. Fresh ideas and comments are what makes the forum go.
I think
jjohnwm
has his finger on the pulse. I’ve only been here a year or so, but before I began engaging in discussion I read A LOT of older posts.
My first question involved tank size. I was trying to legitimately figure out what the ideal sizes for some larger cichlids would look like. If you go back and read through some of the threads, it’s clear how many people come to the forum looking for validation that their 55 gallon is actually good long-term for an Oscar, or that inappropriate stocking is fine, or any number of other issues. Then, when properly informed by the longtime forum members, they respond by getting upset and personal.
After experiencing this again and again, I think maybe some longtime contributors are prepared to be treated dismissively when they respond in a way that an OP isn’t expecting.
jjohnwm
has his finger on the pulse. I’ve only been here a year or so, but before I began engaging in discussion I read A LOT of older posts.My first question involved tank size. I was trying to legitimately figure out what the ideal sizes for some larger cichlids would look like. If you go back and read through some of the threads, it’s clear how many people come to the forum looking for validation that their 55 gallon is actually good long-term for an Oscar, or that inappropriate stocking is fine, or any number of other issues. Then, when properly informed by the longtime forum members, they respond by getting upset and personal.
After experiencing this again and again, I think maybe some longtime contributors are prepared to be treated dismissively when they respond in a way that an OP isn’t expecting.
