I know it's frustrating and disappointing at times, but keep at it ;-)
In my experience, it will be difficult to achieve a full siphon AND maintain relatively quiet without a VALVE on the siphon drain. It will reduce flow and ultimately turnover, but you will likely be much happier with the results. It will also help to create the siphon as well and you should explore turning your elbow up or down to see what works best. That is, considering what adjustment allows for the siphon to start, quietest intake and overflow can accommodate water when return pump is off. Just food for thought as you continue tweaking your set-up.
BTW, How many inches is the strainer under the water when the elbow is turned up and when it's down? I'm sure you hear more noise when turned up given it's drawing more air?